Hi my name is Claire. My why is as followed I have been through so much in my life from being bullied and more from a young age, all the way even into adult hood. My story is a sad and long one . I never knew what mental health was and just saw that everything happened to me was "deserved". Who in their mind thinks that abuse in everyway possible is "deserved"? This girl, right here. I won't bore and go all the way back to child hood for you, I'll start in college. I was constantly mocked on being to fat or to skinny. At one point I and eating disorder which I thought would "help" me ,but it didn't. Little did I realize I developed body dismorphia , and at this point ill never be good enough for anyone. Fast forward , now on to my amazing choice in guys. Growing up not knowing much about abuse to be able to signs and symptoms in a partner , I had no idea what was in store for me. No one wants to sit here and think they could be the next victim of abuse, right ? We say it will never happen to me ,these people love me ? This was my mindset with all the guys to come. I'll try to sum them up in a nutshell so it doesn't drag out. Everything from mental ,physical, verbal ,mental ,and emotional abuse. From the very first time I was hit and him apologizing saying I'm sorry that will never happen again, it indeed did happen again, and again and again. From being hit,to starved,to raped, and so forth I was broken in everyway possible. Being held captive by my abuser I had to make a lie to try and find a means of help. Another long story short I found a lady who had just gone through something simular to my situation. She ended up calling my moms number I gave her ,that same day police and my mom arrived to get me. Taken to the hospital quickly after being picked up, they had found so much of my body ,soul and mind broken, covered in scars ,cuts ,bruises. This is to the point when I started therapy upon loving that situation. Sharing my story had brought my therapist to tears, and my social worker. They told me not many people wanted to/were able to survive after all I had gone through. Does this mean I didn't have those thoughts in the back of my head to end my suffering ? They were definitely there. Knowing my abusers were still living and would one day come for me to finish what was started was a gut wrenching feeling . What purpose did I have for living ? I eventually got pregnant with my first born after being told I couldn't have kids. His father ended up leaving me for my now ex friend. Never wanting part of his soon to be child's life. Having a hard decision on what to do of being a single mom in this state of mind was hard. Something in me snapped. Thoughts flooded my mind, and not bad ones. What was my purpose other then walking this world broken and labeled (no one ever wants to hear that you have mental illness ). My purpose was to become a mother and raise my child in love kindness and give him the best life I could. My other main purpose was to thank God for letting me survive and asking him why he did .why would he let someone like me live through so much ? My purpose I believe is to use all I have been through to help others. Everyone needs to know they are not alone in this cruel unforgiving world. You are loved, you don't have to settle for the abuse, you don't have to go back to the abuser, you are needed ,you are appreciated , I could go on and on about my story or just even telling you how important you are. My hope by telling part of my story is that you see there is hope . You can overcome this! Does that mean it will completely vanish from your memory ? Maybe , maybe not . But get this you are no longer labeled the victim!! Your label is survivor my friend ! We can do this together .we have made it through this stuff for a reason . So keep your head up .be the kindness and love you wish you had . Big hugs